Chaos Reigns

My Home Away From Home

This is my home away from home. From February til the end of May my life revolves around this place. Eric and I are here at least twice a week and more often than not, we're here 4 or more times. Sometimes I feel like I should just pitch a tent on the pitcher's mound and set up housekeeping.

I have a love/hate relationship with this place. I love watching Eric play a game he loves. I love the friends he's made over his career in Little League. I love the wonderful coaches he's had.

I hat sitting through hours of practice. I hate the games that don't end until 9:30 pm. I hate freezing in the bleachers early in the season and broiling in the sun at the end of May. It's uncomfortable and inconvenient.

I hate that this is Eric's last year in Little League.

I'm Too Cool

I finally got a promotion and enough experience as a Systems Analyst to get sent to Dallas to review some software. I had ARRIVED! I was so full of myself as I carefully dressed in my cute, tailored suit. I had my briefcase. I was set.

As I walked down the skyway to my plane, a voice behind me said, "Excuse me, miss." I turned, fully expecting to be asked how to climb the corporate ladder. After all I was exuding cool, professionalism. I turned to the gentleman behind me and he said, "I've been waiting all my life for this.... Your skirt's unzipped."

Yep, that's me - totally professional and totally embarrassed.

Where I Rant

One of my most favorite things to do is go to the library. I was thrilled not long ago to have an entire afternoon to spend there. I carefully chose a pile of books and sat down to read. It was so peaceful. No phones ringing. No kids yelling. No cats wanting in my lap. No ADHD dog bouncing and yapping. AHHH- it was heavenly.

The stillness was shattered by a young woman (YM from here on out) whose shrill voice made a sonic boom sound like a pin dropping. She entered the non-fiction room explaining to her companion that she needed a book a certain subject as her young girl darted to the back of the library. In the meantime, her older girl was banging on the computers. Now YW is still explaining her need for a book while yelling, "Get off that computer!" She still hasn't realized that the younger one is missing. I don't know what that child was up to back there, but a gentleman took her back to YM. For the first time YM realized that the child had been away from her side but she didn't bother to thank the man. Instead, she brayed, "I told you to stay with me! Get off that computer! I need to find a book on whatever so that I can do whatever. Stay with me! Get off that computer!" They had only made to the middle of the room at this point but the monologue continue through the stacks. A few minutes later - keep in mind that the monologue continued unabated- YM, her companion, and the younger child are back in the middle of the room. YM now notices computer girl is missing. I didn't think YM had a volume control but I was wrong. She adjusted it upward and proceeded to bellow without a hint of distress in her voice:

Caitlan, where are you?  Caitlan, I'm calling you! You better get over here right now! Caitlan!"

Now for the first time a library employee informs her that this is not acceptable behavior. This, apparently, was a great revelation to her and she returned to original volume.

The group, complete with Caitlan the computer girl, turned to leave and I noticed for the first time that the companion was wearing a library employee id badge.  

They're So Pretty

No introduction needed. Their work speaks for itself. What it says is up for interpretation.

Another Day of Chaos

About a week ago, Eric wandered into the kitchen with a concerned look on his face. "Something's wrong with Neko's face. It's all swollen up." A quick glance at the big, orange kitty confirm that there was indeed, something wrong with his face. It was certainly swollen and very tender to the touch.

Neko belongs to Michael, the 23 year old with a good job, so I called him and advised him that his cat needed a trip to the vet. Michael says he'll be home in an hour, please leave the cat carrier by the front door. So I do that and Eric and I head off for Park Day with our homeschool friends.

When I come home, King Louis the First and Last, the ADHD dog is loose in the house. What's up with that? We put him in his crate before we left. After all, we wanted the house to be standing when we got home.

Neko, at 16 lbs., doesn't fit in the cat carrier any more but the dog crate is just the right size. Anyway, they make it to the vet where Dr. C advises immediate surgery to clean out the abcess on the cat's face. Poor Neko spent the weekend in the hospital because his owner forgot to pick him up on Saturday. On Monday, Michael, the 23 year old with a good job, says: "Mom, can you lend me $200 to get my cat?"

This is not a happy kitty. He walked around for a week with the collar,  bumping into everything and scraping that collar on all the walls. To add insult to injury, he was wrapped in a towel twice a day and had a syringe filled with antibiotic stuck in his mouth. Not a happy kitty.

Neko finally healed enough that we could take the collar off yesterday. I don't think he's forgiven us for all the indignities that he suffered but he'll come around.

He's very happy he can groom himself again. The only place he could reach with the collar was his tail.

Homeschool Moms Gone Wild - Part 3

Early in the evening, Tanya decided that she could get used to this life of leisure. She could handle being waited on hand and foot. She spoke and a daiquiri appeared. She spoke again and food appeared. She didn't even have to set  foot in the kitchen. Empty plates disappeared like magic. And no one spilled their milk. Ahhh, she was in heaven.

Until, Party Girl said, "You know, what we need is a 'boy with a broom' to sweep the under the table. Then life would be complete."

Oh, poor Tanya. She had to see the "boy with a broom". She wouldn't ... nay, couldn't go home until he swept the floor. Only then would her life be complete. None of the other wild homeschool moms had ever seen a "boy with a broom" but Party Girl was pretty sure he existed. She's pretty sure about the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus, too. But I digress.

Time was ticking on and still no "boy with a broom" appeared. With a tear in her eye, she said, "Oh, just a glimpse of 'the boy with a broom' and life would be so sweet. "

Skipper and I tried hard not to laugh to be encouraging but in all our years of raising boys, we never saw a "boy with a broom" unless he was using it as a tent pole.

"Perhaps," Tanya sniffed, "he's just an urban myth." Just as she was about to give all hope of catching a glimpse of "the boy with a broom" ......

Life is sweet. WOO HOO!

Homeschool Moms Gone Wild - Part 2

Most of us didn't know that our little Vu was about to be -gasp- 30. Can you imagine being that old? I can't either - it's been too long since I was thirty.

I offered to delete this photo for a price but she wouldn't cough up the dough.

After the proper authorities were notified, she was properly embarrassed by birthday balloons, an ice cream Sundae...

and a rousing chorus of Happy Birthday by the staff

We had so much fun celebrating by singing, clapping, and Woo Hooing that we helped celebrate everybody's birthday. WOO HOO!

Stay tuned for more embarrassing photos and tidbits in Homeschool Moms Gone Wild - Part 3 coming soon to a blog near you.

WOO HOO!

Homeschool Moms Gone Wild - Part 1

What happens when you turn a bunch of repressed (Everybody knows we're repressed and keep our children hidden away in a closet so they aren't socialized) homeschool moms out on the town without children? We ditched the denim jumpers and white keds and ran over to the Red Robin. I'm sure they can give you an unbiased account of the evening but in the meantime, I'm going to give you MY biased account.

When I arrived at 7:05, our party girl already sucked down a mango margarita and was wearing a paper umbrella in her hair. Before long she stole acquired several more, place another in her hair, and strategically place two more - unfortunately I missed the photo op so I'll leave it to your imagination as to where they were worn.

I don't know if Party Girl was a cheerleader in high school but she did lead us quite brilliantly in hand clapping and WOO HOOing much to the delight of the staff and the consternation of other, more sedate diners.

Before long, Red joined in. No robin can resist a bunch of rowdy homeschool moms.

Here's the whole bunch of us. I haven't seen that many homeschool moms in one place without children in my entire homeschool career.

Home from Camp

Eric made it home from Cumberland Island last Sunday without a problem. We were concerned that the weather would get nasty but it held off until he was well on his way home.

I definitely knew he was home when I thought I was walking into this

and I found this

I really must wash that curtain. That's the cat's favorite window to sit  and watch all the neighborhood happenings.

Kitchen Diasasters

Kitchen disasters - yep, that's part of my life. Like the time I made a pumpkin pie for a church dinner and left out all the spices. It was so bad that we left it in the fridge at the rec center where we meet and it was still there the next Sunday. Those guys will usually eat anything that isn't covered in mold. Or how about the time I made BBQ steaks and we couldn't even cut them. Of course, we had company that night. Or the soup I made that was so bad I kept adding pepper to it. I never have lived down the pepper soup. But nothing compares to the story Jules over at Everyday Mommy tells about her turkey. Stop by and have a good chuckle.